No Boys Allowed: The Rise of Women-Only Commuting

Sitting in traffic in my air-conditioned, single-occupancy vehicle, I often lament the fact that Seattle doesn’t have a rapid mass-transit system. However, an article in The Seattle Times about commuters in Mexico City has made me reconsider.

“Groping and verbal harassment are an exasperating reality for women using public transportation in this sprawling capital [Mexico City], where 22 million passengers cram onto subways and buses each day. Some men treat women so badly that the subway system has long had women-only cars during rush hour, with police segregating the sexes on the platforms.”

Turns out that in many major cities around the world women are routinely harassed, groped and molested while riding public transit to and from work everyday. According to Wikipedia cities in Japan, Egypt, India, Taiwan, Russia and the Philippines already offer women-only passenger cars or buses and South Korea is planning to start soon.

The good news is that the “women-only” policy seems to be a resounding success not only in stopping violence against women, but also in improving the quality of women’s lives and commutes.

I can only imagine the harassment these women face once they reach their destination after dealing with such behavior on their way to work.

Are women-only offices next on the list?

Update 3.6.08

Harvard University has recently instituted “women-only” hours at one of its student gym facilities on campus in response to a request from a group of Muslim women who, for religious and cultural reasons, are uncomfortable working out in front of men.

“”We get special requests from religious groups all the time and we try to honor them whenever possible,” he said, noting that the school has designated spaces for Muslim and Hindu students to pray.

No men are allowed in the gym between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. on Mondays, and between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Even the staff during those times is all women.

The special hours allow the Muslim women, who adhere to traditional dress codes by covering their hair and most of their skin while in public, to dress more appropriately for exercising, said Susan Marine, director of the women’s center.”

The decision has not been popular among students of both sexes.

“”I think that it’s incorrect in a college setting to institute a policy in which half of the campus gets wronged or denied a resource that’s supposed to be for everyone,” said student Lucy Caldwell, who also wrote a column in The Harvard Crimson newspaper critical of the new hours.”

I agree that the closing of the center to men at various times of day might cross the thin line between accommodation and discrimination. However, a male student offered what I think to be a fair and resonable solution:

“Nick Wells, a junior who wrote an opinion piece in the Crimson criticizing the policy, suggested setting aside one room for women.

“It’s not that I am opposed to the idea of helping people in religious groups or women in general, but I just think Harvard is not being fair to people like me who live (near the gym),” Wells said in an interview.”

Looks like the battle of the sexes continues…

 

Working in Suburbia: Why Can’t More Companies Live Where We Do?

Commuting has always been a thorn in the side of the modern worker. With the spread of urban sprawl and creation of suburb communities, work commutes continue to increase in length and time year over year. If you happen to be one of the people considered an “extreme commuter” who spends three or more hours a day traveling to and from work, I bet you’re sitting there rationalizing away the hardships as “just part of the job.” Stop already! Your time is too valuable. Trust me, I’ve been there.

I used to commute regularly between the neighboring cities of Seattle and Bellevue. My commute times ranged anywhere from 25 minutes when there was little to no traffic, to well over an hour. A particularly severe snow storm once stretched a one-way trip to 4 hours door-to-door. After that, I decided that the drain on my time and sanity (Seattle drivers are the worst!) was outweighing the benefits of living where I did and made the decision to move closer to my job.

Dana Mattioli of the Wall Street Journal recently spotlighted the oft-ignored city-to-suburb commuter. Focusing mostly on those living in Manhattan and other northeastern cities, she highlights the perceived challenges these workers face now that they don’t spend as much time in the big city.

“Not surprisingly, recruiters often have a hard time getting 20-somethings to consider jobs in the suburbs. They take issue “not with the job but with their free time,” said Rich Vandermay, president of Management Recruiters of Yorba Linda, an executive-search company in California.”

“Matt DePascale, 24, says he used to socialize with co-workers three to four times a week when he worked in Legg Mason Inc.’s downtown Manhattan office. In recent months, he accepted an offer at the money-management firm’s Stamford, Conn., office and says that by the time he gets home to his Manhattan apartment, he’s often too tired to go out. “Now I have to take the train to Manhattan, go home to drop off my bag, and then go out to meet up with friends. It’s more of a production,” he said.”

My company has recently moved offices from a trendy suburban neighborhood just north of Seattle to chic new corporate offices in the heart of downtown. This has caused a huge shift in how people get to work and spend their time there.

At the old office, there was access to a free parking garage and unlimited, free street parking. Therefore, most people drove themselves to and from work everyday. This was great if you had an unusual schedule (outside of 9 to 5), attended events or activities right before/after work, needed to run errands in the middle of the day or pick up kids.

The new office is now in the commercial core where parking is at a premium but where public transportation is much more frequent. Therefore most people now ride the bus, which takes more time and involves less comfort, or spend anywhere between $150 - $200 a month for a parking spot at a nearby garage. People are now leaving earlier, spending less time socializing after work and have had to readjust personal priorities to accommodate the new demands on their time.

According to Mattioli’s article, working in a metropolitan setting should be opening up opportunities for cultural activities, good food, more time with friends, etc. However, I’ve found the opposite to be true. My productivity has gone down since I’m in the office less (I have to be out of my paid parking spot by 6pm) and I’ve had to cut back on my personal activities since I’m not able to make it to them on time now that my commute time has doubled. I rarely venture out at lunch since I feel like I have to make the most of my time in the office since I’m not there as long. And happy hour is all but non-existent now since people are racing off to catch the bus at the end of the day.

The people profiled in the Wall Street Journal complain about loss of time and cultural amenities. Well guess what? When you commute, you waste time. It doesn’t matter if you are going into a city or out of one. And what about the unique advantages of the suburbs they work in? You could attend BBQ’s at a co-worker’s home just down the street from the office or visit the corner store for a soda pop or knick-knack. You could enjoy walking down a tree-lined street without being begged for change and perhaps enjoy a more laid-back corporate culture.

The location of where you work hugely impacts your life and overall well-being. Commuting is one of the more significant factors by which satisfaction at work is measured. So if you are thinking of changing jobs or moving, consider your commute honestly before making a change or you could really regret it later.

Looking for Friends? Forget Facebook—Try the Office Break Room

I shared a story a few weeks ago about a man who, when applying for a janitorial position at a large corporation, literally brought three personal references with him to the interview. What was so remarkable about the story was how strong a friendship these men had cultivated in the workplace in an era where Americans have only two close friends and are spending more and more time at work in lieu of cultivating a social life.

But if Americans are spending 40 - 80 hours a week in rooms with hundreds of other people with similar income, education and interest levels, how come they have less friends now than they did a decade or two ago?

Why aren’t Americans making more friends at work?

Forming intimate relationships with the people you work with is often informally and sometimes even formally discouraged by management.

Some companies go to extremes to keep employees from forming relationships outside of the professional arena. A woman wrote into the Evil HR Lady, a human resources blog that I frequent, asking how to handle her company’s strict anti-fraternization policy:

“I have no interest in dating my co-workers, but I’m not sure how to handle pre-existing friendships. The policy applies not only to romantic or sexual intent, but to all socializing outside the context of work. If support-staff encounter non-support staff at the grocery store, or the pub, or the local folk festival, there is to be no interaction at all.”

“I know it isn’t easy, but I think I’m aware of the potential conflicts and can work to keep my job and my personal life separate. But I’d be expected to have absolutely no outside interaction at all with people I’ve known for years, who I’ve invited to my home, who I have friends in common with outside of the company, and who are part of my attachment and commitment to this company in the first place.”

When companies regulate friendships by policy, the result is workers who sit just mere feet from each other day-in and day-out that co-exist practically as strangers. There is no sense of community for workers to belong to and people feel less sentimental and professional attachment to the places for which they work.

I personally have no problem treating work like a second home. It is no secret that most Americans spend just as much or more time at the office than they do at home and in their communities.

Why is work treated as a separate entity rather than an extension of our existing communities?

Li Yuan, a reporter with the Wall Street Journal, offers an explanation. In a recent article, Yuan exposes the differences in attitudes between Americans and her native Chinese. She explains that the Chinese treat their co-workers like an extended family, with a distinct interest in the personal details of their lives.

“While young Chinese working at multinational companies do tend to keep some distance from their colleagues, in more-traditional workplaces you almost have to consider your officemates a surrogate family. The first few days with a new company are filled with personal questions: age; hometown; parents’ professions; marital status; monthly salary; profession of your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend; income level of same; value of your apartment; cost of renovating that apartment; stocks and mutual funds you’re investing in; and so on. And you’re expected to update your colleagues about changes.”

In contrast, many Chinese working for companies in the United States find American workers to be friendly but shallow in their relationships with co-workers.

“Jie Luqiu, an architect in Boston, told me he’d gone to bars with his colleagues a couple of times, but was disappointed with how little he learned about them as individuals. “Americans seem very open,” he says. “But in fact, they guard their personal information very carefully.” Lijun Zhang, an analyst at a big financial institution, says that he always feels closer to Chinese after a few rounds of drinks, but doesn’t have that experience with his colleagues in the U.S. And after a night at the bar with her co-workers, a friend in New York asked me: “How could they spend a whole evening talking nonsense?””

Why are Americans so scared to bring their personal lives into the office?

I agree with Yuan’s theory that political correctness and fear of litigation play a large factor in the ‘silencing’ of American voices in the workplace. It’s just not ok to talk about sex, race, religion or politics in American workplaces.

I understand that the point of banning offensive conversations, behaviors, materials, etc. is to create a peaceful, non-discriminatory environment so that everyone can feel comfortable at work. That is good! However, such policies necessitate a certain sacrifice of the self for the greater good of the group. And perhaps our staunchness in keeping the personal from the professional is having an adverse effect on both.

Yuan explains,

“To be honest, I’m ambivalent about this political correctness. When I first got here, I thought it was silly and hypocritical. But after a while, I had to admit it might be one of the reasons that this diverse country hasn’t fallen into chaos. I still believe that an excess of political correctness has turned American social interactions bland and boring because people are often scared of speaking their minds. Yet at the same time, I can’t imagine what this country would be like without it.”

If companies discourage it and our culture discourages it, why bother making friends at work at all?

Feeling a connection to others around you is not only a critical part of being successful and happy in the workplace but also in life as a whole. The New York Times best-selling book, 12: The Elements of Great Managing written by members of and published by the prestigious Gallup organization, lists having a best friend at work as one of the 12 essential elements of great managing. Why?

“Human beings are social animals, and work is a social institution. Long-term relationships are often formed at work — networking relationships, friendships, even marriages. In the best workplaces, employers recognize that people want to forge quality relationships with their coworkers, and that company loyalty can be built from such relationships.”

In my own experience, I’ve been fortunate enough to develop close relationships with co-workers at all the companies I’ve worked at. I’ve signed sympathy cards for a co-worker whose parent was ill, attended softball games played by teams of co-workers, participated and hosted movie nights both at the office and at home, and in one extreme case, watched donations pour into a college fund, set-up by the company, for the children of a co-worker who passed away unexpectedly at a young age.

I feel a little sorry for people who don’t have close ties to their co-workers. They’re missing out on so much fun, support and richness of experience both at the office and in their personal lives. Next time you pass someone you don’t know very well at the coffee machine or at the water-cooler, spend a few minutes getting to know them better. You never know, they might just become your future spouse, best friend or networking contact.